By Joel Chouinard, CFP®
July 9th, 2025
Wedding season is in full swing, and love is in the air!
But let’s be real: nothing strains a relationship like money problems. If not handled properly, money can become a source of stress, arguments, and even resentment over time.
In this post, I’ll walk you through the three key financial steps every couple should take before merging their finances.
Whether you're recently married or just starting to talk about money with your partner, these tips will help you build a strong financial foundation—together.
1. Establish a Financial System and Shared Goals
Before you start combining bank accounts or splitting bills, you need to ask yourselves one important question:
Are we building a life together—or just paying bills under the same roof?
This is where I always start with couples: defining a financial system and creating shared goals.
Let me give you an example. I once worked with a couple where one spouse wanted to combine everything and focus on saving, while the other wanted to keep their finances separate and invest in real estate. Both were totally valid goals—but they weren’t aligned.
We started by building a system that worked for both of them. Ultimately, they decided to open a joint checking account for shared expenses (like rent, utilities, and groceries) and keep their own separate accounts for personal spending. This gave them structure and independence.
Then, we zoomed out. I helped them map out their goals over the next 5–10 years, like buying a home, bulking up their savings, and eventually starting a family. This timeline helped them get on the same page and prioritize when they would pursue each goal.
💡 Pro tip: A shared financial system doesn’t mean losing autonomy—it means creating clarity and collaboration.
2. Dive into Each Other’s Finances
Talking about money might feel awkward at first, but it’s essential for a healthy financial partnership.
According to TD Bank’s Annual Love & Money Survey:
- 74% of millennials talk about money with their partner.
- 78% of couples who talk about money weekly report being happier.
So yes—money talks are a good thing.
Start by gathering your own financial data. I break it down into three categories:
- Assets – bank accounts, retirement plans, real estate, etc.
- Debts – student loans, credit cards, personal loans.
- Income & Expenses – your monthly cash flow (i.e. your budget).
You can use personal finance software, such as Monarch Money or YNAB or just track it in Excel or Google Sheets. Once you’ve each gathered your numbers, sit down and go through them—together.
This isn’t a judgment session. It’s about understanding the full picture so you can plan your future as a team.
3. Create a Financial Plan Together
Think of your financial plan like building a house. You wouldn’t start with the roof—you’d begin with a solid foundation.
Here are the three pillars of a strong financial foundation for couples:
1. Build a Conscious Spending Plan
This is your blueprint. It maps where your income goes across four key areas:
- Taxes
- Savings
- Essential expenses
- Fun money
If you don’t know where your money is going, it’s nearly impossible to build wealth intentionally.
I go into details about the Conscious Spending Plan in this blog post.
2. Get a Handle on Debt
Start with any high-interest debt like credit cards or personal loans. Those should be paid down aggressively.
Student loan debt? That’s more nuanced. Ask yourselves:
- Are the loans keeping you up at night?
- Are they preventing you from pursuing a different career?
If yes, it’s time to make a plan to tackle them.
3. Create a Contingency Plan
Life happens. Your plan should include:
- A fully funded emergency fund
- Life and disability insurance
- Basic estate planning documents (like a will and power of attorney)
This is especially important if you have—or plan to have—children.
💡 Remember: A financial plan is more than a budget. It’s a framework for building the life you both want.
Final Thoughts
Merging your finances isn’t just about spreadsheets and numbers—it’s about building a life together. The sooner you get aligned on your money, the stronger your relationship will be. And don’t forget, this shouldn’t be a one-time conversation. Managing joint finances requires consistent communication as your life evolves.
Need Help Making a Plan?
If you and your spouse are ready to create a personalized financial plan, I’d love to help. Click here to schedule a free introductory call today!
Let’s build something strong—together.
SharpEdge Financial LLC is a registered investment adviser registered with the State of Texas. Registration does not imply a certain level of skill or training. The views and opinions expressed are as of the date of publication and are subject to change. The content of this publication is for informational or educational purposes only. This content is not intended as individualized investment advice, or as tax, accounting, or legal advice. Although we gather information from sources that we deem to be reliable, we cannot guarantee the accuracy, timeliness, or completeness of any information prepared by any unaffiliated third-party. When specific investments or types of investments are mentioned, such mention is not intended to be a recommendation or endorsement to buy or sell the specific investment. The author of this publication may hold positions in investments or types of investments mentioned. This information should not be relied upon as the sole factor in an investment-making decision. Readers are encouraged to consult with professional financial, accounting, tax, or legal advisers to address their specific needs and circumstances.